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Posts Tagged ‘Nerds!

The Partisan Dweeb

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Uber-liberal former Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich is probably best remembered for running goofy, failed campaigns to become President of the United States and serious, successful campaigns to become President of Fern Gully. Now he has a whole new chance to expand his legacy, as it was announced yesterday that he will become a contributor to Fox News.
If I knew how to say this to him in Elvish I would, but sadly I don’t so here goes in English: Don’t Dennis! Fox News only hired you to make fun of you!
Fox News has a long history of hiring dorky, submissive nerdlinger liberals to go up against their burly, uber-mensch Conservatives. I mean, Alan Colmes has both the rhetorical might and upper body strength of an 8-year-old girl. Dennis Kucinich isn’t going to fair a whole lot better. In fact, that Sean Hannity is exactly the type of lunkhead jock who would invite a spaz like Kucinich on his show just so that he can give the former Congressman a swirly!
Of course, it’s not like Fox News is the only partisan cable outlet that hires dweebs from the other end of the political spectrum to appear balanced while actually only making the partisans from their side look better. MSNBC has a number of “conservatives” on retainer like former DNC Chairman Michael Steele whose conservative-for-MSNBC political beliefs match up eerily well with Juan Williams’ liberal-for-Fox-News beliefs. Steele definitely appears to be a delicate nerd, although that might be because compared to Rachel Maddow anyone would look feminine.
So kudos Fox News! You’ve found yourself a fine punching bag…

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 17, 2013 at 5:21 pm

OMG the White House is run by nerds!

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Americans like to imagine that their leaders are the cool kids: from JFK’s touch football to Dubya’s cheerleading, we want a cool president who is immune to political wedgies. People voted for Obama because under that cerebral exterior, he smoked cigarettes and played basketball, and when you threw in Michelle’s arms and Rahm Emanuel’s Kenickie-shtick, it was assumed that he could be transformed in the Democatic Fonzi.

Then, just a few days ago, this photo of Presidential Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was snapped, revealing the true depths of Geekdom at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave:

That’s right, the man who represents the world’s most important man is reading The Star Wars Pop-Up Guide. Oh sure, Gibbs claimed the book was for his son, but then how do you explain this photo of a certain press secretary in a Darth Vader costume???

NERD! By openly revealing their inner nerd the Obama administration is almost certainly emboldening GOP opposition. Note to B-rack: wanna know why the Bush administration got so much horrible horrible stuff done? Because Dick Cheney didn’t dress up Darth Vader, that man fucking WAS Darth Vader.

Get what I am saying? You can privately call yourself the Rebel Alliance for blowing up the Health insurance Death Star, but for the love of God don’t publicize it!

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 30, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Posted in Barack Obama

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