Guy Fieri to ruin wine now, too
Although he may look like the fat cherubs of antiquity, Guy Fieri now has decided to become a modern-day Bacchus: According to the New York Daily News, Fieri has entered the wine game, purchasing a five acre vineyard in Sonoma where he intends to produce wine under the name “Hunt and Ryde” (after his two children Hunter
S. Thompson and Ryder Strong).
So what does this TV Chef know about the booze industry, especially since last year the New York Times, in reviewing his Times Square restaurant, declared that his watermelon margarita “(tasted) like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?” Well we have a feeling that Fieri will add his signature dash of mental retardation to Hunt and Ryde Vineyards, too. In fact, here’s a list of the varietals that the winery’s bleached beached whale of an owner plans to produce:
Pumped up Pinot Grigio – A light and crisp wine with hints of wasabi and chipotle mayo.
Kickin’ Chianti – A robust red smothered in 12-hour-roasted pulled pork gravy.
Sassy’ Sauvignon Blanc – A fruity blend perfect for relaxing after a trip to the Diabetes Clinic!
Chateauneuf du Jalapeno Poppers – A complex blend of red fruits and deep-fried spicy cheese.
Rockin’ Rose – A great summer drink as pink as Guy Fieri’s disgusting sunburned jowls.
Meh, he’ll probably just give up on the whole vineyard thing when he realizes either that Tequila doesn’t come from grapes and that the Sonoma is nowhere near Kid Rock’s house.