The Partisan Dweeb
Uber-liberal former Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich is probably best remembered for running goofy, failed campaigns to become President of the United States and serious, successful campaigns to become President of Fern Gully. Now he has a whole new chance to expand his legacy, as it was announced yesterday that he will become a contributor to Fox News.
If I knew how to say this to him in Elvish I would, but sadly I don’t so here goes in English: Don’t Dennis! Fox News only hired you to make fun of you!
Fox News has a long history of hiring dorky, submissive nerdlinger liberals to go up against their burly, uber-mensch Conservatives. I mean, Alan Colmes has both the rhetorical might and upper body strength of an 8-year-old girl. Dennis Kucinich isn’t going to fair a whole lot better. In fact, that Sean Hannity is exactly the type of lunkhead jock who would invite a spaz like Kucinich on his show just so that he can give the former Congressman a swirly!
Of course, it’s not like Fox News is the only partisan cable outlet that hires dweebs from the other end of the political spectrum to appear balanced while actually only making the partisans from their side look better. MSNBC has a number of “conservatives” on retainer like former DNC Chairman Michael Steele whose conservative-for-MSNBC political beliefs match up eerily well with Juan Williams’ liberal-for-Fox-News beliefs. Steele definitely appears to be a delicate nerd, although that might be because compared to Rachel Maddow anyone would look feminine.
So kudos Fox News! You’ve found yourself a fine punching bag…