E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

A Quick Note to Dick Morris

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I just thought I’d share a quick suggestion that I have for former Clinton pollster/America’s roundest goblin/Prostitute toe-licker Dick Morris: stop talking. As we discussed earlier, Morris made the ludicrous prediction that Mitt Romney would win in a landslide and justified this nonsense with delusional Right Wing math. Morris appeared yesterday on Hannity to explain himself, saying “Sean, I hope people aren’t mad at me about it…I spoke about what I believed and I think that there was a period of time when the Romney campaign was falling apart, people were not optimistic, nobody thought there was a chance of victory and I felt that it was my duty at that point to go out and say what I said. And at the time that I said it, I believe I was right.” All is forgiven, right guys? Morris only lied to his target audience to make them feel better because as a paid employee of Fox News that’s his job.

I think I speak for us all when I say that if you made an enormous public boner like Morris did, it’s best just to apologize, say you was wrong and move on. Stop making excuses – especially ones that make you sound less like someone who made an honest, if large mistake and more like a duplicitous piece of shit. Indeed, I suspect Morris can’t stop talking for pathological reasons, as he’d rather be in the spotlight as a liar than in the shadowy kingdom of the gnomes where he emerged from.

Of course, not one to leave an interview without saying something that shreds the fabric of human deceny and the bounds of logic, Morris ended the interview by saying “The Republican Party will recover because ultimately, this president’s policies are wrong and they’re going to lead to an economic collapse in the second term which is going to make the Republican Party look great.” Yup, nothing makes Republicans look better than enormous economic suffering! I can’t wait to eat dog meat roasted over an open garbage can fire and discuss the benefits of School Vouchers.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm

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