There’s Gold in them Legislative Bodies!
After America’s wetlands, children and the Doritos Locos Tacos, our nation’s most precious resource is clearly our state legislators. Without them, who would ask state Notary Commissions to undertake form expiditing studies and, of course, try to subject women to unnecessary and traumatic medical procedures. As such, our precious state legislators deserve only the best – like real 24 karat gold!
Jerry O’Neil, who was just re-elected to the House of Representatives in Montana, has asked for just that, demanding that his legislatorial salary be paid in pure gold. Some might say this makes O’Neil an unhinged wannabe prospector fighting for an economic system deemed worthless nearly a century ago, however I think he just might be the biggest, blingiest pimp in the whole wide Montana House. But why stop at Gold Jerry? You’ve gotta admit that iPads, Justin Bieber’s diamond-encrusted Stewie Griffin necklace or $38.50-per-serving tacos are just a lot hipper than boring old gold.
Or he could go old school and insist on being paid in a way ancient politicians preferred: cattle, virgins and the skulls of his enemies.