E PLURIBUS MORON

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Election Day is the New Black (Panther Party)

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Election Day is here! And Fox News is celebrating in a classic 19th century style. No, not by handing out hard cider and promising eight glorious rounds of real Irish fisticuffsmanship, but rather by freaking out about minorities! As Politico has pointed out, the right wing news channel is “obsessed” today with covering the story of a “lone New Black Panther Party member standing outside a Philadelphia polling place.” Now as you may recall, conservatives were very upset in the early days of the Obama Administration when several members of the New Black Panther Party (who appeared to be members of the regular Black Panther Party just three decades older) who stood outside a polling place in West Philadelphia and reportedly intimidated voters. Worst of all, Attorney General Eric Holder, ne Shaka Zulu Malachai Deathtowhitey Holder, refused to press charges!

I can’t even begin to describe what is dumb about this story from 2008. Let’s focus on today’s story, which is wonderful because, of course, the man in question refused to identify himself to Fox’s crew as a member of the New Black Panther Party and reportedly engaged in the suspicious behavior of “standing outside the building, and occasionally holding the door open for voters to enter.” But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t sent here to keep you Honkies from voting!

Might I say that as a Philadelphian I am SHOCKED by this behavior. Well, not by the behavior of the elderly guy who might just be a black man in a beret, but rather that Fox News could only find ONE intimidating African American standing outside a Philadelphia polling place! You can do better with the racial dog whistles guys – I know you can. Why, Gretchen Carlson and Greta Van Sustren could hardly spend a minute on the streets of the City of Brotherly Love without losing their white conservative christian purity FOREVER! Stop re-hashing stuff from 2008 and focus on a new offensive non-story, okay?

Anyway, let me be the first to congratulate this possible “lone New Black Panther Party member” on his nomination to become Secretary of Smokin’ You Jive Turkeys for the second Obama Administration.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

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