E PLURIBUS MORON

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Mickey Mouse: Sith Lord

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If all this Hurricane Sandy and campaign coverage hasn’t melted your mind into a putrid goo yet, try this one on for size: yesterday, Disney purchased LucasFilm, the company behind the Star Wars saga, for $4 billion. To make matters worse, Disney has also announced that they will release Star Wars Episode 7 in 2015. Does someone have a lightsaber with which I can commit sepuku?

Yeah, I have to say this absolutely terrifies me. Disney is known for milking it’s franchises way beyond their creatively expiration point (I think they might be on the 20th sequel to Aladdin by now), and while this is mostly relegated to the DVDs-for-the-barely-potty-trained crowd, I still shudder to think how Disney will put it’s stamp on Episode 7. I just can’t imagine that Demi Lovato or whoever is currently jerking off Justin Bieber will make a good Sith Lord, ya know?

The only interesting side of this merger as far as I can tell is the chance to see Randy Newman, who I believe is now the official property of Pixar, and John Williams collaborate on Episode 7’s score. It should be somewhere between epic and cloyingly goofy – think “The Imperial March” played on a kazoo.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

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