E PLURIBUS MORON

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Debate #3 Wrap Up: Lady Binders

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Last night’s Presidential Debate made history, as for the first time in a debate Pres. Obama said the word “gangbangers“. I assume he meant people in gangs, but Barack and Michele should watch out for the creepy advances of Newt “Open Marriage” Gingrich and that hair helmet wife of his.

Other stuff happened too of course. Obama and Romney spent the debate duking it out mano-a-mano, circling each other like sharks at times. It was the most kinetic and riveting piece of political gamesmanship since Teddy Roosevelt bare knuckle boxed Democratic Nominee Alton Parker and a full-grown Red Kangaroo at the 1904 Presidential Debate.

If nothing else, Barack is B(ar)ack. Unlike the last debate where he looked like he had accidentally taken Paula Abdul’s daily fistful of xanax, the President seemed alive and kicking – his answers, while they went on a little too long, were smart, thoughtful and occasionally, like his final statement, pretty damn impressive. Best of all, on Libya, the Detroit Bailout and his pension, Obama (with some help from the moderator Candy Crowley) managed to smack down three pointed Romney attacks. Could Obama have been more forceful in connecting Romney’s policies to those of George W. Bush? Sure. And the way he ducked the gun question was, in my opinion, pathetic. But the President went a long way to restore liberals’ faith in him and probably scored big points with wavering female voters, too.

Romney had a tougher night. He seemed unable to sit down (what did Obama do to his seat?!?!?!?!?) and, while his performance was similar to the last debate, Obama’s stepped-up game kept Romney on the defense for much of the night. His attack on Libya blew up in his face and by angrily repeating “the government doesn’t create jobs”, while simultaneously asking for another government job, Romney made himself look like an asshole. He does however have a potential business opportunity on his hands, as his comment about the “binders full of women” he used to staff his gubernatorial cabinet would make an excellent idea for an online dating site for lonely bureaucrats (Justice Kagan, I’m lookin’ at you!).

And how about the moderator? Well, while I don’t a boner for Candy Crowley the way that I did for Martha Raddatz for SO many reasons, she redeemed herself by fact checking Romney’s bullshit on Libya in real-time. She may have let the guys on stage run their mouths too much, but pwning Romney like that on Libya on live television was pretty epic. Indeed, with so many Republicans stuck in the warm, gooey womb that is Fox News, Romney looked kinda shocked to be contradicted by…a journalist??? The binder women will hear about this!

I think this debate can be pretty decisive called for the President. Was it pretty? No. But as the Right is complaining about the media this morning, it’s pretty clear they even know they lost. The difference of course between Liberals and Conservatives being that when the Democrat loses a debate, Liberals weep and rend their clothes and when the Republican loses a debate, Conservatives suggest Ted Turner is a member of the Communist Party.

So we have one more debate to go! Phew. Can these things be over already? Please? I’d like to get back to complaining about how stupid and boring the baseball playoffs are thankyouverymuch…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 17, 2012 at 10:30 am

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  1. […] Taken Over The Subway Stop This Week, Giving Both Runners And Casual Observers Plenty To Look At!Debate #3 Wrap Up: Lady Binders ul.legalfooter li{ list-style:none; float:left; padding-right:20px; } .accept{ display:none; […]


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