E PLURIBUS MORON

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Debate #2 Wrap Up: Malarkey in Kentarky

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Were there subliminal messages painted in invisible ink on Joe Biden’s ultra-bright teeth last night? Because if nothing else, I think those who watched the debate came away with Biden’s pearly whites burned into their retinas. Drudge is even suggesting that Biden smiled too much to win the debate – which is correct because, like Chimpanzees, the Vice President’s bared teeth emboldened our nation’s enemies to through feces at us.

Yes, it was VP Debate night in America last night, and Joe Biden and Paul Ryan really got into it in the event held in Kentucky. There was sighing, laughing, anger, eye-rolling. Paul Ryan was also there. I’m not sure what influence the debate will have on the polls, but Biden certainly went a long way to reinvigorate a Democratic base demoralized by Obama’s attempt to get some shut-eye during the first Presidential debate.

Indeed, whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, you probably came away from that debate talking about Joe Biden. He was animated to the point of distracting, but when he called out Ryan’s “Malarkey” and slapped the Representative down with “Oh so now you’re Jack Kennedy?” it was hard to take your eyes off him. He stood up to Ryan’s endless stream of half truths and whole fabrications and got blood pumping again in all the bleeding hearts across this great land.

Ryan’s performance was, shall we say, more subdued. He actually did pretty well – he never let Biden ruffle his feathers which is a big deal because Biden was up in his grill the whole time (Biden did however manage make Ryan look about 12 years old). Ryan also seemed wildly uninformed about the nation’s unemployment rate and shaky on foreign policy, and may have made people question whether this guy is really ready to be one Rafalca rampage away from becoming President. But what do you expect from a guy who seems to think his ability to do sit ups til he shits himself is a necessary quality for leadership?

So who got the upperhand? Clearly Ryan won because his American flag label pin was bigger than Biden’s. That’s just (political) science. However, I feel that when it comes to determining who won on substance people on the Left think Biden won this bout  and people on the Right think Ryan won. I’d say it’s a draw, but I genuinely think Biden, for all his smiling apoloplexy, came across as more excited, more engaging. He wins the debate on the sheer fact that his side of the split screen was just so much more entertaining to watch.

Kudos to Martha Raddatz, the debate moderator, by the way. She’s a bad ass, as several times she managed to smack down Rep. Ryan and Vice President Biden.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 12, 2012 at 10:23 am

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