E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Zing)

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With tonight’s first President Debate appearing to be the last opening Mitt Romney’s campaign has to regain any semblence of momentum, stakes have never been higher for the former Governor. That’s why as we learned a few days ago in the New York Times, Romney’s aides have given him a number of “zingers” with which he can smack down President Obama at their debate. He’s been practicing for months and as we know, there is nothing better than an intensely well-pracitce zinger.

But what ribald lines does Romney have in store for us? Well, EPM‘s man on the inside of the Republican Nominee’s campaign has provided us with this top secret list of zingers to watch for:

On the 47%: “I can’t get these people or their leader Obama to care about their lives…or their caviar selection! ~Dabs away flop sweat with Picasso lithograph~”

On the National Debt: “Yo Mama so bloated she makes the National Debt look like Taylor Swift’s chicken arms.”

On National Security: “Jee whiz Barack that was a professorial answers. You can Aerial Drone on all day can’t you?”

On Wealth Redistribution: “This guy spreads money around like its Kim Kardashian legs in the Green Room of ESPN.”

On Religion: “Barack Obama is a Muslim and sympathizes with Al Qaeda” (Okay that one’s not so much a zinger as it is a desperate last gasp of a dying campaign).

Yikes. I won’t be live blogging this one – that will occur down the road. Anyway, let’s all have fun tonight, avoid drinking games that require you to do a shot every time someone says the word “entitlements” (’cause you’ll die) and we’ll discuss what happened tomorrow!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

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