E PLURIBUS MORON

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Retirement in Delusion Land

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Nowadays, most Americans can expect to retire about 5 minutes after a fatal at-work heart attack. But not President Obama! World Net Daily, America’s leading paranoid right-wing faux news site, is reporting that a source has disclosed to them that “confidential internal polls conducted by the Obama campaign indicate Obama cannot win re-election” and that “(the) truth is that Romney’s winning.” While this might sound like the deluded ramblings of a mad man, WND sticks by their “source” (who is probably the same “source” who is always declaring Jennifer Aniston pregnant or Kristen Stewart engaged) and has declared that Obama is readying for his retirement in sunny Hawaii!

Now, with Americans connecting so deeply with Mitt Romney’s warm, human being-like personality and the former Governor’s masterful eloquence and genius political stage craft, you can’t blame Obama for preparing to move from the District of Columbia to the Aloha state. The question is now what will Barack Obama do in his tropical retirement? Well he’ll probably play some golf (as you know Barack Obama is the only President ever who has ever enjoyed golfing) and spend time with his family, issuing fatwas against the Second Amendment and gay marrying various parasites from the 47% of Americans who don’t pay income taxes.

Have fun looking for that Birth Certificate in your golden years, Barry!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 20, 2012 at 11:38 am

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