E PLURIBUS MORON

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Booin’ God Down South and Other Dumb Ideas

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Dear Democratic Delegates: please don’t boo God on national television. The DNC is not an episode of Montell and the Almighty is not someone’s no-good baby daddy. Now, you can boo God in private all you’d like (Seriously, who does God think God is? You’re all powerful but it took a whole damn week to create the universe? That’s just lazy.), but with Republicans successfully pressuring the Democratic Party to add language about God and Jerusalem as the capital of Israel into their official election platform, maybe voicing your displeasure with God in front of the nation is something you could hold off on.

Of course, it wasn’t all Democrats, but rather just a small cadre of vocal idiots who I guess wanted to get on Fox & Friends. However, as the Christian Right has the twisted world view that somehow the faithful are now victims of oppression by liberal atheists, producing stories that affirm this unhinged world view is not very good idea. In fact, I’m sure upon hearing this news, I bet Mike Huckabee got a boner. Now ask yourself liberal atheists, do you REALLY want to give Mike Huckabee a boner? No. No you don’t.

Of course, stories like this convince me more than ever that Convention Platforms are really outdated. Conventions themselves, were they not such great political theater, are really a relic of the past. Platforms were useful before the 24/7 media (ya know, when the bears attacks were a formidible obstacle to voting), but is there anyone now who doesn’t know what the Democratic Party stands for? You can watch 10 minutes of closed claptioned MSNBC at a Greek Diner on the Connecticut Turnpike and get the Democratic platform.

“Oh God” he closed, clutching his head waiting for this whole convention season to end.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

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