Keep your government hands off my medicare!

MC Hammer ought to replace Rep. Akin

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Oh and there is even more colorful news from Congressional Republicans today: Missouri Representative and Senate Candidate Clay Aiken Todd Akin has made every woman in America cross their legs with his recent comments saying victims of “legitimate rape” don’t need access to abortions since they rarely become pregnant. Akin, an engineer and not a buhgina doctor, went on to say that “the female body has ways to try to shut…down” pregnancies from rape. Hooray for science!

Obviously these comments are so appalling that even REPUBLICANS are trying to distance themselves from Akin. For example, Karl Rove’s Crossroads GPS Super PAC has announced it will no longer run planned ads for Akin, which is probably for the best as Akin no doubt wanted to run pieces explaining the difference between “legitimate rape” and rape that is “2 Legit 2 Quit”.

Speaking of 2 Legit 2 Quit, Akin is vowing not to drop out, saying on Sean Hannity’s radio show that while his words were a mistake that “I’m the only person in public office that suffered from forcible penis-in-vagina foot-in-mouth disease.” Indeed, his party might have trouble getting Akin to drop out because he believes his race is “providential” and with Jesus at his side he may just stay in the race.

But ya know what, I say let’s call Akin’s bluff: if his campaign relies on providence then the candidate ought to ask Jesus to hold a press conference (Jesus is totally God’s Press Secretary) to show their support for Akin’s continued candidacy.

Stayed tuned! I bet this guy will drop out to, oh I don’t know, get his MD in obstetrics.


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 20, 2012 at 4:11 pm

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