E PLURIBUS MORON

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D.O.Chick-fil-A

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Embroiled, or should I say em-deep fried, in a major controversy about their public disdain for gay marriage, Chick-fil-A announced that its Vice President of Public Relations dropped dead of a heart attack this morning. I’m not mocking his death now, I’m just pointing out that it happened at a frankly bizarre time.

Gawker is reporting that Twitter is freaking out about this auspiciously timed death, with some suggesting that the VP dropped dead because of God’s vengeance against those promote hate against his/her/the spaghetti monster’s children. Others, seem to think it’s a liberal conspiracy. Might I suggest a third option? Perhaps a professional lifetime of eating deep-fried chicken sandwiches slathered with the condiment of bigotry (which in the case of Chick-fil-A I think is just mayo) is what made their Public Relation man’s heart to explode. Just a thought.

More importantly though, I’m about ready to announce that this controversy over Chick-fil-A and gay marriage is over. We’re setting a terrible precedent for fast food franchise politics. If we have to bomb Iran I really REALLY don’t want to know what Taco Bell thinks about it.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm

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