E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

GOP asks regulators to kiss 6% of its ass

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Listen to anyone out there and they will tell you that the American worker is hurting. With the unemployment rate at 8.2%, people are having trouble finding jobs. Even those who are employed spend all day playing “Draw Something” on the toilet to avoid getting fired. So what’s a government to do? Well today the House of Representatives is set to pass a VERY well thought out bill that totally WON’T die in the Senate which “would freeze major government regulations until the unemployment rate drops to 6 percent.”

Keeping lead out of your milk? Airbag laws? Those signs that say “employees must wash hands”? They are all killing our nation’s economic recovery. And it isn’t until our unemployment rate hits EXACTLY 6% that we can start regulating stuff again. That’s in the Constitution!

So what will Congress do with their time now that they aren’t passing new regulations? Well first of all, I think they deserve a nice break, as it is widely acknowledged that this Congress is too productive. Unencumbered with protecting citizens though, I assume that the Congressional Republicans will be able to do what they really want, which is to send enthusiastic tweets supporting anti-gay fried chicken sandwiches.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 26, 2012 at 11:25 am

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