E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Mazel Tov, Mittens! Romney to visit Israel

with one comment

In a trip that will finally answer our nation’s burning question about whether or not Romney Bot X6000 Mitt Romney can physically produce sweat, the Republican nominee will visit Israel this summer!

So what can Romney expect on his Birth Right trip? Sure, he’ll endure the punishing Jerusalem summer temps and meet with national leaders, but like all men on a Birth Right trip he can also look forward to have dozens of horny, slightly dumpy curly haired WashU graduates throw themselves at him. Mix that with ecstasy in a Tel Aviv gay bar and some horrifying anti-Palestinian rhetoric and the former Governor will have quite a time in the Holy Land.

Of course, this begs the question about what Romney would actually do for the State of Israel were he elected. Well, Romney has pledged to “do the opposite” of Barack Obama! My god what an unusually specific statement from Gov. Romney. This is also great news for Hamas, since what Barack Obama has done for Israel is just give them almost unflinchingly political support and massive military aide, Hamas would very much enjoy “the opposite” of that.

The trip comes at a great time too, as everyone knows since Obama is busy pandering to wealthy gay donors, Romney can spend his summer pandering to wealthy Jewish donors. You’d think Sheldon Adelson would be enough but no, Romney loves the Hebrews too much to stick with just one no what how wealthy he is. Mazel tov, Mittens!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 2, 2012 at 4:20 pm

One Response

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  1. Good..

    Maybe he can talk with them about medical cannabis.. he was so arrogant about it last month.

    See, the Israeli’s are on the forefront of cannabis research and are insisting cannabis be a FIRST line of defense before strong and deadly narcotics (their government even grows it for the patients).

    They also, like Europe, have the prescribed “Sativex’ that is being approved in the US as we speak FOR MS (Mitts wife has MS), but at 18 dollars a one time spray, and you have to spray several times a day, well.. cheaper to make your own.

    Anyway Mitt, instead of getting snarky next time a reporter asks you a question a thinking man should at least be able to answer honestly, instead of saying ‘Don’t we have something important to talk about’.

    Please, for God’s sake Mitt, talk to the Israeli’s.. you need schooling bad on this subject. 1960’s are over.

    333maxwell

    July 3, 2012 at 12:25 am


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