E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Elmo Hospitalized for “Exhaustion”

leave a comment »

Central Park, once known for its lively cultural of outdoor drug sales and bush sex, is now going down the tubes. Police recently had to remove a man in an Elmo suit who was hurling anti-semitic insults and harrassing pedestrians.

Or did they? The NYPD want you to think that they rightfully removed a mentally disturbed man in an Elmo suit some the park because he was “demanding people give him money to take pictures of him” and telling passers by “I’m not making money because the Jewish costume companies are harassing me” but that’s not true. The sad fact is that the man in question was indeed the real Elmo and he is having a breakdown.

You see, years of grinding poverty on Sesame Street opened Elmo up to the drugs and loose sex of the celebrity lifestyle. Add to that the radical muslim dogma Elmo learned from at the feet of his mentor Michelle Obama and you’ve got a furry red puppet who is one eight-ball away from death.

While most of the mainstream media doesn’t want anything to do with Elmo til he gets his act together, Mel Gibson has expressed his support for the little guy and announced they’ll be producing a film of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Advertisements

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: