E PLURIBUS MORON

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Facebook Justice: Cajun style!

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Louisiana, America’s spicest state, is great at making strange criminal laws. It’s also a state where calling someone a “luddite” would be a compliment if anyone there knew what it meant. Indeed, Lousiana displayed it’s weird relationship with justice and technology by recently passing a new law that “requires sex offenders and child predators to state their criminal status on their Facebook or other social networking page.” Finally! Lousiana can now keep track of their sex criminals without the use of highly controversial police alligators…

Of course, this law is not without its weird problems. First of all, parts of this law feel redundant: any male over 18 who uses MySpace for anything other than music-sharing purposes should already be assumed to be a sexual predator. It’s really the digital equivalent of a windowless van with a supposed puppy inside.

Secondly, how will Louisiana enforce this? You can’t force someone to get a Social Networking profile (that is until a race of sentient armed Facebook robots take over the planet). Furthermore, where would this information go? In their info section? Or would they just be required to constantly provide updates and tweets about how much children and other vulnerable society members turn them on? There’s a reason why Roman Polanski doesn’t have a Twitter ya know.

Still, it is a novel idea. I mean, we did away with locking people in stocks in the public square over a century ago: now that the public square has shifted to the Internet I guess it should only make sense that a state as progressive as Louisiana would revert to such behavior.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 21, 2012 at 5:00 pm

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