E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

THC meets GOTV

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As the economic news becomes increasingly grim (Greece recently started blowin’ dudes for grocery money), so too do Barack Obama’s re-election prospects. And you know what that means: it’s time for wild October surprise conspiracy theories!

Our first contestant comes from the Atlantic Wire, which asked the burning (pun intended) question about “whether marijuana legalization measures will turn out young voters for Obama.” To who ever thought this was worthy of real analysis, let me be blunt (hehehehe “blunt”): this will never happen because stoners are not reliable voters.

Indeed, unless you get a free Doritos Locos Taco with every vote, getting stoners to go anywhere near a voting booth is damn near impossible. And even were you to get them to a polling place, there’s a decent chance they might just vote for Nader. Or Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Hahaha oh Meatwad.

Besides, can you even hot box a voting booth? That doesn’t sound very fun…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 14, 2012 at 8:47 am

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