E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The Free Blowjobs and Chocolate Milkshakes For All! Act of 2012

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Republicans in the House of Representatives wants to go out of its way to let you know that it is firmly against sausage parties. That’s why there are so many powerful female Republican representatives, right?

Well, these lady lovin’ legislators have recently run into trouble: yesterday the House rejected a bill that would have banned the nonexistant rampant epidemic of race and gender based abortions. The bill, called the “‘the Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act’—with Ms. Anthony representing all women and Mr. Douglass all non-whites” was defeated 246-178.

While the idea of creating an unworkable bill for a nonexistant problem is pretty stupid, you’ve got to give the GOP credit for the bill’s title. What a novel idea! All you have to do to get repugnant and useless bills passed is to write the shitty legislation and then use the subterfuge of a great name to force people to vote for it. Like a bill that would ban all abortions  called the “Don’t Rape Innocent Puppies Act” or a bill to allow BP off the hook for the Gulf Oil spill called the “Free Blowjobs and Chocolate Milkshakes For All! Act”. Only a fool would go on record voting AGAINST that! Oh democracy you clever bitch.

So good try on this one, Bill O’Reilly. What other imaginary problems are you gonna focus on next? Adding unicorns to the endangered species list? How about rampant price gouging at very popular WNBA games? The phony problems are endless!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 1, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Posted in Congress

Tagged with , ,

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