E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Obama is workin’ the poll(s)

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Just a quick note for those of you panicking about Barack Obama’s re-election prospects: calm the fuck down. Get one of those new delicious xanax slurpees from 7-11. This is America – we take our prescription medicines with soda thank you very much.

Anyway, the good people at the New Yorker Magazine took a break from freaking out about Cindy Sherman’s vagina (I…don’t read the New Yorker…) to freak out about Barack Obama’s polling numbers against Romney. Obama is looking weaker than he did a few weeks ago, and websites like the Drudge Report are eagerly trumpeting every margin of error Ohio poll that they can.

Let me be blunt: polls taken five months before election day are bullshit. Remember when John Kerry was beating Bush in the polls about this far out (tehehe “beating Bush”)? Well how did that go?

Indeed, trying to extrapolate in May what will happen politically in November is like trying to predict the weather on election day. Sure, we can say with near certainty that the streets will not melt into lava or be covered with glaciers, but if it’s cloudy? Or warm? Fuck that. Politics is just as fickle as meteorology, and this comes from someone who is equally obsessed with political blogs as he is with weather blogs. (YES I’M CONSIDER MYSELF COOL WHY DO YOU ASK??!?!)

Anyway, Democrats and Republicans need to take a chill pill and let this thing unfold. Honestly, you’d be better off gambling on Kim Kardashian’s marital status on election day at this point…

 

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Posted in Elections

Tagged with , ,

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