Just like her husband famously kills terrorists and then spikes the football all over the planet, Michelle Obama and her radical fruit-and-vegetable-socialism agenda is about to be implicated in an assassination of her own. Or should I say a cat-sassination.
For you see Meow, the 38 pound cat that gained world wide attention for being just fucking enormous (see above), was put to sleep last night. Of course the animal hospital will tell you that Meow was having “multiple health problems” from its “morbid obesity”, but we all know that this cat is a victim of the liberal agenda and its unconstitutional war on
guns christmas Tim Tebow obesity. The Obamas hate Fat Cats, both in real life and on Wall Street. And while I don’t have any proof of this theory, I’m still going to put it out on the Internet because, hey, that’s how the internet works.
This story is just so sad – my dreams of using Meow as the counter-weight for my cat powered elevator have been dashed. Dashed I tells ya!