E PLURIBUS MORON

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“…In (Car) Sickness and in Health”

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In the moment that all little girls dream about, last Friday a man proposed to his girlfriend on the MegaBus between New York City and Baltimore. Perhaps over taken by the breath-taking (and dare I say erotic) scenery that is a 3 hour traffic jam on the Delaware Turnpike, New Yorker Avi Miller proposed to long time Baltimoron girlfriend Nina Lazerow, finally proving that we Jews are willing to take the bus. Apparently, the long distance couple used MegaBus so much, and had so closely come to associate the faint smell of the chemical toilet with their relationship, that proposing on the MegaBus seemed natural.

Now, I’m not here to criticize people’s love life decisions. That’s why god put Rick Santorum on this earth. But I will say that the MegaBus is possibly the least romantic form of public transit you can take. Maybe it’s because I’m usually hung over on it, but just short of proposing on a city bus, you actually could not do worse. In fact, here is a scientific list of sexier forms of public transit to propose to your girlfriend on:

-The Bolt Bus (it has leather seats and WiFi!)

-Amtrak (you might see Joe Biden)

-A blimp (chicks dig blimps)

-One of those big wheeled old timey bikes (you’ll have to be engaged as any woman riding a bicycle is clearly a victorian prostitute)

-A ox cart (I always found Oregon Trail oddly arrousing)

-The elevator full of blood in The Shining

A jigger (all that jiggling!)

-A gypsy cab driven by a deranged serial killer (at least they’ll take you to Brooklyn…to murder you)

-An industrial shrimp trawler

Again, not that I’m suggesting this guy’s choice of proposal site is gross and stupid…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

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