E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Please America, keep Gingrich safe

with one comment

Leading Republican presidential contender Newt Gingrich isn’t going to let things like a total lack of money and the mathematic impossibility of his nomination get in the way of him being a serious contender. No no.

That’s why I am appalled by a piece today in the Daily Caller that suggests that Newt Gingrich doesn’t deserve the Secret Service protection he is receiving just because he can’t win and it costs the government $38,000 a day. Newt Gingrich is a national treasure like Mount Rushmore or the world’s biggest ball of twine, and you wouldn’t leave those unguarded would you?

Furthermore, Gingrich needs these body guards because he is such a high value target. Not only would he make a valuable kidnapping target for Moon gangsters, but as you know the Liberal Media is always trying to get him. Remember when a sniper from CBS News took a shot at Newt? Thank goodness the bullet ricoched off of Calista Gingrich’s hair helmet!

So for anyone who thinks Newt Gingrich having Secret Service protection is a waste of tax payer funds, I’ll tell you this: if they didn’t spend their money on protecting Gingrich, the Secret Service would be spending it on Colombian hookers. Now who’s wasting government money??

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 19, 2012 at 9:02 am

One Response

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  1. I think that whatever the Secret Service guys did in Colombia, they learned from Newt. As far as I know, before Newt their behavior was perfect.

    List of X

    April 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm


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