Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Please America, keep Gingrich safe

with one comment

Leading Republican presidential contender Newt Gingrich isn’t going to let things like a total lack of money and the mathematic impossibility of his nomination get in the way of him being a serious contender. No no.

That’s why I am appalled by a piece today in the Daily Caller that suggests that Newt Gingrich doesn’t deserve the Secret Service protection he is receiving just because he can’t win and it costs the government $38,000 a day. Newt Gingrich is a national treasure like Mount Rushmore or the world’s biggest ball of twine, and you wouldn’t leave those unguarded would you?

Furthermore, Gingrich needs these body guards because he is such a high value target. Not only would he make a valuable kidnapping target for Moon gangsters, but as you know the Liberal Media is always trying to get him. Remember when a sniper from CBS News took a shot at Newt? Thank goodness the bullet ricoched off of Calista Gingrich’s hair helmet!

So for anyone who thinks Newt Gingrich having Secret Service protection is a waste of tax payer funds, I’ll tell you this: if they didn’t spend their money on protecting Gingrich, the Secret Service would be spending it on Colombian hookers. Now who’s wasting government money??


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 19, 2012 at 9:02 am

One Response

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  1. I think that whatever the Secret Service guys did in Colombia, they learned from Newt. As far as I know, before Newt their behavior was perfect.

    List of X

    April 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

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