E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The “One Direction”? It’s towards Tween Authoritarianism!

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Remember when everyone thought that the Obama Administration would take its cues from black nationalists? Well instead of Shaka Zulu a much more fearsome and violent force is directing the White House’s every movie: his tween daughters.

This blog has thoroughly documented, nay dedicated itself to chronicling, the evolving bromance between the Obama Administration and Justin Bieber (and to a lesser extent the Jonas Brothers when they were still famous). But now news has broken that English boy band One Direction has turned down an invite to the White House. Are floppy bangs and skinny jeans all it takes to get invited to the White House now? Hey Matt Bai—I think we can now say for certain that the Debt Deal between Boehner and Obama broke down because the Speaker of the House doesn’t own any Top Shop or use any product.

Frankly I’m just incredulous that an AMERICAN boy band wasn’t good enough to receive an invitation to the White House. What do you think the members of 98 Degrees are doing right now? Nothing! Invite them for dinner. For one thing, Justin Jeffre probably is sick of eating hobo beans cooked under a bridge.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

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