National Lindsay Lohan Legal Awareness Day
While the tulips are blooming and trees begin to bud, a seemingly annual yearly rite has come to an end: that’s right folks, today marks the first day in nearly four years that Lindsay Lohan is NOT on probation.
This is a proud day for the once promising actress, who I guess now can do more movies or become a school bus driver. I’m not sure which she is less qualified to do, but either way now that she is not a ward of the state she can do whichever she’d like technically. Of course, the amount of money that our system wasted on punishing this girl rather than say, putting her in intense therapy and putting a restraining order against her crazy enabling mother is a little sickening. If the court forced her to date someone equally insane, like say Mel Gibson, it would have saved the tax payer a lot of money.
Still this is good news all around. Lindsay Lohan can now focus on her professional pursuits, like trying to break the world record of Red Bull and Plan B consumption. Go on wit yo bad self!