E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Broccoli: The Conservative moment’s Enemy #1

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Funny, time was the cattle car to the Gulag was the symbol of government run-amok and oppressing its people. Indeed, you know America is successful and lazy when Broccoli, yes that vegetable that looks like a cartoon fart, serves as the symbol of totalitarism for some.

The Republican animus towards broccoli has deep roots: in 1990 then President George H.W. Bush famously declared “I do not like broccoli. I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it, and I’m president of the United States, and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.” Bush even banned broccoli from Air Force One, and it was that inspiring passion that helped him defeat the otherwise boring and stodgy Bill Clinton in 1992. Oh. Right.

Anyway, as the Supreme Court was holding its historic proceedings on the Obama Administrations Healthcare reform, broccoli was once again savaged by conservative critics. Antonin Scalia, who I guess is more of a fried peppers and onions kind of guy, during oral arguments asked the Solicitor General if because Obamacare forced people to buy health insurance since they are all in the healthcare market whether they know it or not, could the government then also say “everybody has to buy food sooner or later, so you define the market as food, therefore, everybody is in the market; therefore, you can make people buy broccoli.” Obviously the two issues are completely different, as America’s low broccoli consumption isn’t ruinously expensive and horrible unfair to the working class citizens, but once again this green vegetable is being savaged in the press.

This anti-brocollism only going to get worse people. Rush Limbaugh is THIS close to calling broccoli “a slut” on the air! And here I thought the only people they liked to pick on were the gays, women, blacks, hispanics, scientists and the poor. Not broccoli too!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 29, 2012 at 8:53 am

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