E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The Invisible Hand of the Market cannot wipe you

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Like my grandfather always said: every problem has a solution and that solution is usually disgusting.

Yes, in a time where states are rapidly slashing budgets and government services are being hit hard, poor Trenton, NJ is being devastated by lack of funding. In fact things have gotten so bad that the city can’t even pay for toilet paper anymore for city workers. While toilet paper doomsday was literally right around the corner, the People for the Ethical Treatmeent of Animals has stepped in, offering the impoverished municipality “six months of free rolls printed with a message about filthy slaughterhouses and the resulting fecal matter found in meat.” Pooping and learning! It’s just like studying abroad in India.

So I think this solution would make a great way of explaining to your idiot uncle or perhaps Sean Hannity why cruel budget cuts are bad. Since these people don’t really have souls, but probably love a good steak (vegetarians like big government, let’s face it), just explain to them that if the government can’t provide toilet paper, those fucking lunatics at PETA will. End of story.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm

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