E PLURIBUS MORON

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A special moment from the American Justice System

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The American justice system is a bewildering, Foucaultian nightmare. It can also make people say hilarious things!

Like this story out of Fort Worth, Texas, which I won’t embellish too much because it’s so weird it kind of speaks for itself: Kenneth Clyde Jackson was sentenced to 18 years in prison today, stemming from an arrest in 2010 where police found Jackson nude in the plastics warehouse at which he worked. When retrieving his clothes, police found child porn on Jackson’s computer. That’s not the weird thing about this story.

The WEIRD thing about this story comes from a statement made by Assistant District Attorney Martin Purselley who successfully prosecuted Jackson. When asked to comment on the case, Purselley joked “(Jackson’s) job description didn’t include prancing around naked while looking at child pornography.”

Now I don’t know everything that an Assistant District Attorney does, but I’m guessing that it’s not a position with a “job description didn’t include prancing around naked while looking at child pornography.” Other positions that don’t involve “job (descriptions) didn’t include prancing around naked while looking at child pornography” include: Pirate, Nick Nolte’s Biographer, High-end lamp designer and doctor/train conductor/grave digger. Indeed, if you find a job whose description includes “prancing around naked while looking at child pornography”, you might need to call Monster.com.

Still, thank you American justice system. You so funny.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 27, 2012 at 8:37 pm

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