E PLURIBUS MORON

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Rick Santorum: Anti-Vulcan

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Here is a little logic problem about Rick Santorum’s campaign for President that I feel might do well on the LSATs…

Recently, Rick Santorum has claimed that he is the best shot the Republicans have nationally because, as he says, as a former Senator from Pennsylvania he is the only candidate running who has “actually won a swing state.” Bloomberg News ran a piece that rightly points out that while that was true in 1994 and 2000, Mr. Santorum has his ass handed to him (that’s right, I said ass in a post about Santorum) in 2006, losing to current Senator Bob Casey by almost 18 percentage points. That loss, Bloomberg News claims, proves that he isn’t exactly electable in a swing state.

This assertion, while noble, is retarded. And let me tell you why: While Bloomberg is right in saying that Santorum is unelectable, but it’s not because he lost in 2006, rather it’s because his mouth-breathing ideolgue assfacery cost him reelection in 2006 and makes him unelectable now. It’s a little bit like saying “oh my friend Ricky is unfit to marry because he is divorced” when really you mean “my friend Ricky is divorced because he is insane, hateful, and he’s a straight man who is obsessed with gay sex and is therefore unfit to marry.”

Hooray for logic (how’s that for a phrase you thought you’d never see in a post about Rick Santorum?).

PS-BREAKING NEWS: Lead singer of Megadeath and 20-time-rehab attendee Dave Mustaine has just endorsed Santorum. White House here we come!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 15, 2012 at 2:55 pm

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