E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The Jaws, err, Jugs of Life

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God bless giant fake American breasts, for without them the American beer industry would look like the American auto industry…

Indeed, not only are sweater puppets good for the economy, they can also save your life. Floridian Cheryl Klein, who once held the record for world’s largest artificial breasts, survived a nasty car accident last week thanks to the cushioning effect of her 38KKK sized breasts. While I’m not wild about their being a cup size KKK (couldn’t we measure breasts by some other paranoid hate group’s name? Like “35 double John Birch Society”?), this proves my theory that medical grade silicon can do more than just make your titties all round and hard, but also save your life.

So ladies/trannies, take this story to heart (or just your general chest region): huge fake titties can save your life. Next time you wanna upgrade to a D cup, consider going bigger. Or getting a third boob added for safety.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 13, 2012 at 12:41 pm

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