E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Relax guys, she’s been pregnant dozens of times

with one comment

While I commend FEMA’s post-Katrina vigor in the face of this potential natural disaster, I think we may need to all tone down our excitement/terror about the possible Snooki pregnancy.

Like I said, she’s likely been pregnant dozens of times (no one told her flavored condoms are for fucking, not eating), and with strong denials from her publicist (blah blah blah) I think we’re unlikely to see her pounding shots for two on the next season of The Jersey Shore. Or, sadly, crushing up and snorting pre-natal vitamins.

But if she IS about to lay a fertilized egg (that’s how Snookis give birth dontchaknow), this baby would be a GOLDMINE. I’m thinking a line of slutty club wear for babies would actually sell really well. Toss in an endorsement deal to feed her child nothing but Qream (the oh so classy cream based liquer), and this baby will be a money making machine!

Plus, I would pay good money to see Snookis baby fight one of those horrible little Kardashian babies…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 2, 2012 at 9:50 am

One Response

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  1. […] and 5 Hour Energy as a profilactic has apparently failed, forcing her to announce recently¬†that she was both preggers and engaged. Then last week TMZ reported that The Situation was in rehab for some kind of chemical dependency […]


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