Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Demi Moore: I said whip it!

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Let me begin this post by saying that yes, it is unfair that female actresses can’t get good roles once they’re no longer hot. But in a way that lack of roles does weed out those moderately talented actresses who are only successful because of their looks. Is Cameron Diaz prettier than Maggie Smith? Yes. Would Ms. Diaz make a good Dowager Countess in 25 years? Oh my lord no.

That’s why I’ve always found Demi Moore so sad. Clinging to shreds of relevancy and early 90s hotness, Moore is a bit like the Dorian Grey of the Kabbalah set (you’ll note that I left out Madonna because she is not technically a human being and therefore does not age like we do). That’s why news of Demi Moore being sent to rehab (or what ever bullshit excuse about “exhaustion” her publicist made up) was so deeply pathetic.

Earlier this week, People Magazine had a somewhat glowing article about Moore’s wild night out, which spoke of Moore as a “glamorous still-relevant Moore hanging out with her young daughter’s friends” be really should have said “anorexic has-been ghoul drinks away pain with awful trust fund retards”. Then TMZ reported that Moore was sent to rehab after a bad reaction from using nitrous oxide whip its.

Okay so what I’m driving at folks is that we have let this whole Demi-Moore-is-still-famous thing go to far. Not only is this poor woman now crazy, gaunt and just generally out of control, but she’s a 49-year-old woman using whip its. Whip its are for 16 year olds in a Diary Queen parking lot—if she wasn’t totally insane she would have abused cocaine or meds. This was a cry for help if nothing else.

I mean, yes I know going to rehab for Whip Its sounds insane, but is it any crazier than the image of a former A list movie star using a drug that is literally one step above sniffing glue? Let’s just let this poor woman be.


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 26, 2012 at 3:36 pm

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