E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Newt Gingrich is your nominee

with one comment

Okay, everyone in South Carolina stop what you are doing! The primary election tomorrow is unneeded as Newt Gingrich has just scored the ULTIMATE celebrity endorsement.

Chuck Norris has endorsed Newt Gingrich for President. It’s a shame we really have a democracy at all: for you see if Chuck Norris had been alive during the Constitutional Convention, I’m pretty sure that republican democracy would have been scrapped in favor of Chuck Norris karate chopping candidates until he found one manly enough to be President. Thankfully, because Newt Gingrich’s insides are made of lechery-flavored jello (it’s still better than lime!), Gingrich won Norris’ endorsement.

Such news! I guess that would explain why all those church bells started ringing…and bald eagles burst into singing a perfect rendition of “Proud to be an American”.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

One Response

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  1. Hopefully this means that he’ll go down in flames like Mike Huckabee.

    Brandon Beall

    January 21, 2012 at 10:44 am


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