E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Romney makes a meal out of the Competition

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Well New Hampshire has voted and yes, Vermont remains a state. Mostly though New Hampshire’s residents came out and gave Mitt Romney his second victory of the Republican Primary campaign. Now let me tell you why this is terrible terrible news.

Mitt Romney is essentially Prime Rib: a deeply dated fancy dish that is expensive and somewhat bland. If Romney keeps winning these primaries, it’s going to be like the entire country is eating the same fucking dinner every night for 6 months straight until we compare it to the interesting if some disappointing fusion cuisine that is Barack Obama.

So I am going to make an appeal to everyone reading this blog right now to give all your money to Rick Santorum. And maybe Rick Perry too: this guy is hilarious! We need to have some more options if we are ever going to make it to November! I think people would really appreciate a little more of Rick Santorum’s gasoline marinated chicken (ya know, because he is a wonderful poisonous firey coward) or Newt Gingrich’s casserole of anger and slivered almonds.

In fact, go start a Super PAC. Everyone’s got one of those.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 11, 2012 at 2:48 pm

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