E PLURIBUS MORON

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Suck my Caucus: 130,000 Iowans CAN be wrong

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Well last night Mitt Romney won the Iowa Causus’ by a mere 8 votes. I know that sounds tiny, but when you consider the enormous dimensions of the average midwestern Republican voter, you have to figure those 8 votes displace the water of about 25 normal voters. I guess it’s less dramatic than you think. But what else is going on?

Well, for one thing Michele Bachmann, warrior queen, has dropped out of the race after she finished an embarrassing 6th in Iowa. She only managed to defeat Jon Huntsman (who didn’t campaign there) and the write-in candidates Bart Simpson and Hugh G. Wang. Bachmann vowwed to continue to fight Barack Obama however, although now that she can’t do it electorally perhaps she intends to bare knuckle box him.

In more positive news about morons, Rick Santorum did really well last night! So well that when you type Santorum into Google the results you get don’t immediately refer to the number one cause of ruined bedsheets at Ryan Seacrests house! Good for you, Ricky.

On to New Hampshire, and hopefully some non-2012 primary related stories on this blog, eh?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

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