E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

And here I thought fatties could float….

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Time was Americans couldn’t get enough of boats. Women who cry out about the Erie Canal and the Intercoastal Waterway while engaged in the passions of Victorian lovemaking. ‘Twas a grand time. But not anymore, as the Coast Guard has placed new restraints on how many people Ferry boats can handle so as to “avoid any potential safety issues caused by the excessive strain of larger human cargo”.

Now while I am not a huge fan of the phrase “human cargo” (I gave that kind of shit up when the Triad chased me out of Macau’s white slavery trade thank you very much), it is depressing to note that Americans are officially too fat to travel by boat. We can tow 100,000 ton oil platforms by boat, but not 200 people from Wisconsin across Lake Michigan.

Just a thought for when you eat those Christmas cookies. Or Hannukah latkes ~ominous and satanic thunderclap~

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

December 22, 2011 at 11:57 am

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