E PLURIBUS MORON

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Sasha and Malia: Hirohito’s secret agents

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With Occupy Wall Street illiciting cries of “Take a bath, hippie!”, I figured the United States was still fighting the Vietnam War. Turns out we’re still fighting World War 2!

Or at least America’s Last Action Hero Matt Drudge is: Drudge’s website today prominently features an article about Sidwell Friends, the Quaker School that Sasha and Malia Obama attend, which is serving an Asian menu in their cafeteria today. An Asian menu! On Pearl Harbor day! ~Bald eagle vomits and collapses on the flag~

Clearly Sasha and Malia are Emperor Hirohito’s sleeper agents and I’ll tell you why: as Glenn Beck has warned us, school cafeterias are the best place to inspire hatred of America, what with their socialist insistence on vegetables and other forms of dietary fascism. One bite of edamame turns you into a Kamikaze pilot! This is true about all of America’s enemies: cafeteria pho will turn your child into a Viet Cong and bratwurst will turn them into one of the Kaiser’s food soldiers!

Sigh. I wish Matt Drudge was my lunch lady…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

December 7, 2011 at 9:43 am

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