E PLURIBUS MORON

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It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I look FABULOUS

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As you well know, all of our nation’s coolest workout trends come from California: why, the Golden State has given us such health crazes as Kabbalah Yoga, stripperobics and the core blasting workout none as getting slammed by Tommy Lee.

But now there is a new Cali workout trend that is so awesome the cops and the bomb squad are getting involved! Police and Bomb Squads were recently called to a San Jose area post office after a man jogged in wearing a gas mask and stuffed a strange looking package into a drop-off box.

After terrifying employees and customers, the Police found out the package wasn’t dangerous. It turns out that this mysterious be-gasmasked jogger was area resident Long Huong (I prefer him to Short Huong), who wears biohazard gear while jogging to improve his training. The fact that he looked like a biological terrorist was all a crazy mix up!

So watch out San Jose Police, because post-apocalyptic jogging is all the rage in Northern California! It’s the Cormac McCarthy guide to fitness: you’d be shocked how much wait you can lose by subsitting on rat meat and army rations you stole off a corpse. Throw in some light exercise through poisonous clouds of zombie gas and you’ll be svelt enough to live in the sewers in no time.

California: always leading the way. The way to crazy town.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

December 2, 2011 at 11:34 am

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