E PLURIBUS MORON

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Santa’s Giving Gats to the Good Boys and Girls

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It’s Christmas time in Arizona and you know what that means: time to round up some illegals time for the people to take pictures with Santa. Santa and his collection of automatic weapons!

Recently, a Phoenix area gun club proudly announced that this year they are “offering a chance for children and their families to pose for photos with  Santa while holding pistols and military-style rifles.” Christmas is really about guns, Jesus and family, right? Remember when Mary was turned away at the inn so she fucking destroyed the place with her AR-13? That was sweet.

Now, it may look in the picture above that Santa is being held hostage the cast of a radical and violent episode of Cupcake Wars, but I assure you Santa is just fine. For you see, if you broke into as many houses as he does, especially in Arizona, you’d know that Old Saint Nick needs to back heat to keep himself safe.

Here’s a fun little fact I’ll leave you with: Santa’s suit isn’t red and white because the advertising department at Coca Cola designed him to match their corporate logos. Rather, Santa’s suit is red and white because he is a gun-toting member of the Crips.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 30, 2011 at 12:00 pm

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