E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Crime doesn’t pay (minimum wage)

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Kids today: they’re too ADHD to even shoplift right. Or at least that’s what police officers in Santa Clarita, CA found out when the owner of a local hobby shop presented them with security camera footage of the dumbest crime in the history of Teenagerdom.

Apparently, a young man entered the store, applied for a job with his resume then proceeded to shoplift a “$129 Airsoft gun” as he “(strolled) out the door”. Now while this does seem alarmingly silly, we should note that he told police that he only wanted the job so that he could spend his days sniffing model airplane glue.  

Of course this story isn’t exactly “shocking”: what with our extremely sluggish labor market, the only thing job seekers can do nowadays is to apply for jobs and then steal stuff as you leave the store. This kids real mistake seems to be lying on his resume about his ability to speak conversational Spanish and the title of his last position rather than lying about his name and home address.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Santa Clarita Mom and Dad! You’re child is a retard.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 23, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Posted in Law and Crime

Tagged with , , ,

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