E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Big Brother’s Tough Turkey Talk

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First, we were warned about suitcase nukes. Then shoes bombs. Then underwear bombs. And now DHS is warning us that Al Qaeda just might kill us by blowing up our turkeys.

How do we know this? The Department of Homeland Security just tweeted that anyone considering deep frying their Thanksgiving turkey this year should remember to “make sure the turkey is completely thawed before placing (it) in a fryer” because otherwise the turkey can explode. Good point DHS! By why are you making this announcement? I suppose the rest of the federal government has either gone home for the holiday or has gotten distracted by online holiday shopping.

Indeed shouldn’t the Federal Department of Turkeys be issuing these warnings? What’s that you say? We don’t have a Federal Department of Turkeys? Sure we do, it’s called Congress. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH ~begins to violently boil~ AHAHAHAHAH ~starts spewing foul smoke~ AHAHAHAHAHAH ~explodes firey turkey parts all over your lawn~.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 22, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

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