Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Bubbling brimstone smells like eggnog

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No, I am not having a stroke, I swear that the title of this post will make sense in a second…

Let’s face it, Seltzer is our nation’s discount version of sparkling water. Oh sure, bubbly watery from the Alps costs $9.99 a bottle, but America’s version is only good enough for clowns to shoot at each other (and I guess mix with vodka to prove that while you are dependent on booze you are still too classy to drink it straight). Perhaps then in a misguided attempt to make Seltzer “hip” and “fun” the Seltzer producer Polar has announced they are producing an eggnog flavored holiday seltzer. What? I can’t imagine that will make the alcohol needed to tolerate one’s family during the holdiays go down any easier.

In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and say that a crystal clear bubbly egg and vanilla flavored drink is an abomination. There, I said it. If religious fanatics cared at all about how God feels they would surely start a crusade against this effervescent hellspawn.

So let’s honor the birth of Jesus by drinking Godly, Christian beverages. Like Whiskey. And Red Bull.

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 10, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , , ,

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