E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

A TERRIFYINGLY sane 24 hours

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Maybe today’s first ever national emergency broadcast system test is to alert people that for at least 24 hour period some sane ass shit has been going down!

First (as we have already discussed), to the detriment of every Softcore-pornstar-turned-Italian-government-minister, Silvio Berlusconi stepped down, a casuality of the European Debt Crisis or perhaps botox poisoning.

Secondly, last night a measure of political sanity returned to America, as an anti-union bill in Ohio, a personhood amendment in Mississippi (that was too depressingly demented to merit a full blog post here), and an assault on voting rights in Maine were all voted down. Also the State Senator behind Arizona’s funfun “Papers, Please” law got booted out of office. Dang Messikans/lazy teachers/fetuses/Vote Hags! Why you gotta ruin the Tea Party’s fun like that?

Now, as if society didn’t seem like it was fully on the brink of collapse, we have just learned that Eddie Murphy will no longer be hosting the 2012 Oscars. Oh no! A hostless Oscars is like a paddle boat without a captain! Surely Meryl Streep will drown.

So yeah, things are getting terrifyingly sane around here. I implore someone to step up. Maybe Rick Perry could imply he was born without an anus. Or Snooki and Chris Christie could release a sex tape called. Ya know, something classy.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 9, 2011 at 2:47 pm

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