E PLURIBUS MORON

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A Testicle Tale

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You know how in mideval Europe they would hang a noble woman’s bloody bedsheets out a window to prove that she had just become a woman? Indeed, they did so because a nobleperson ability to reproduce was of critical national important. Well it looks like the presense of baby makin’ juices is just as important to Americans too!

Justin Bieber, whose Christmas album “Santa you my Shawty” is being released shortly, has made a career of evolving before our eyes. When discussing Bieber’s duet with Mariah Carey on the new album, Justin’s manager Scooter Braun told reporters  “vocally, (Justin’s) balls have dropped.” Hooray! The prince of pop music is now firing live ammunition if you know what I mean.

See? Anyone who says we don’t have a propensity in this country to turn our celebrities into royalty just needs to go examine Justin Bieber’s testicles. (NOTE: Please don’t read my blog if you got to this article by googling “Justin Bieber’s testicles”).

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 31, 2011 at 11:49 am

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