E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The Senator Vs. The Adult Baby

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No, this story is not about the 1993 film by Steve Guttenberg, but rather a grand moral tale about sex, money, the welfare state and diaper rash.

Earlier this year, Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma demanded that the Social Security Administration investigate a man named Stanley Thornton Jr. who appeared on National Geographic Channel’s “Taboo”, showing his life as an adult baby fetishist—a lifestyle (How dare you?!? Being an adult baby isn’t a lifestyle or a choice!) paid for by Thornton’s social security disability benefits. Clearly Sen. Coburn isn’t in love with big government, let alone big babies.

Well the Social Security Administration has just ruled that Thornton was indeed allowed to receive disability benefits and now Thornton is demanding an apology from Sen. Coburn. As well he should! I think it’s important, if disturbing, to acknowledge that Social Security benefits cannot be withheld just because someone has a gross (but legal) sexual fetish.

If a man loves anime porn does that disqualify him from food stamps (ughhh although I hope he doesn’t buy octopus with that)? If a woman has likes to be tied to a post, covered in maple syrup and beaten with frozen waffles does that mean she shouldn’t get medicaid? No! Senator Coburn needs to know that the rights of citizenship extend to all citizens, even if they’re pervs.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 19, 2011 at 9:27 am

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