E PLURIBUS MORON

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Black walnut job

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Not since Dolley Madison served oyster ice cream out of her tits  has an ice cream scandal so rocked American politics! ABC News has found, through what must have been months of crack investigating, that the world’s future benevolent leader Herman Cain has based his campaign on an out-of-date ice cream flavor!

Cain has been fighting accusations that he is a political flavor-of-the-month by saying “Haagen-Dazs black walnut tastes good all the time” in a delicious pun about the fact that he would be our nation’s first walnut flavored President. However, ABC News found out that Haagen-Dazs no longer makes black walnut flavored ice cream, phasing it out shortly after it began and making it “by definition…a flavor of the month.”

Checkmate! Finally the liberal media has landed a blow on the unstoppable Cain! There is a chance however that this will backfire, as the old senile people who make up the base of the Republican Party are constantly talking about products that no longer exist. Ms. Bachmann could call herself the Diet Tab of the GOP! Mitt Romney the Johnson’s Palmade of the Right! Rick Perry could be the Ching-chong-chang-Chinamen’s Delight Mustache wax of the Tea Party! Old people would never know the difference…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 14, 2011 at 9:01 am

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

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