E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

I got your Emmy’s right here…

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The Emmy’s were last night and man did I…not watch them. A TV show about giving awards to TV shows? My doctor told me to avoid meta-programming.

From what I’ve heard though the Emmy’s totally snubbed Parks and Recreation in favor of Modern Family, which is ridiculous. I mean yeah, Modern Family is okay I guess but it is not nearly as clever or frankly progressive as it thinks it is. Sure it’s the funniest thing on ABC, but, ya know, big whoop. That’s like being the best kosher deli in Tehran.

So, in an effort to make sure everyone is recognized, here is the list of major accomplishments that the Emmy voters should have awarded…

Best Post-production Vagina Blurring – The Jersey Shore

Best Reason to Repeal the 19th Amendment – Bad Girls Club

Best TV Show People need to stop telling me to watch all the time, I get it – Breaking Bad

Best Viagra Substitute for Women, Viagra-less Gay Men – True Blood

Best Way to Hypnotise Old People – 20/20

Best Reason for a Communist Revolution – Real Housewives of __________

Best Drama THAT SHOULD HAVE WON BEST DRAMA – Friday Night Lights

Ugh. Coach Taylor. Teach me about life!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm

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