E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Tea Party Debate: The Salad has been tossed

with one comment

Republican presidential hopefuls gathered in Tampa, Florida, the high city of American intellectualism, to offer their nuanced, almost trasncendental opinions on the Tea Party’s favorite issues. ‘Twas like the Platonic Academy of old!

There were so many highlights of this debate I’ll try to limit it to the juiciest moments:

-Former popular girl Michele Bachmann savaged Rick Perry for mandating that girls in Texas get innoculated against HPV. “To have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just wrong” quoth Bachmann. I guess she thinks HPV injections are really government tracking systems and not, ummm, a proven means to prevent cervical cancer?

-Everybody spent a lot of time accusing people of scaring senior citizens. EVERYTHING SCARES SENIOR CITIZENS. If politicians wanted to avoid that they’d just show reruns of The Lawrence Welk Show on CSPAN.

-When Moderator/Handsomest Jew on Television Wolf Blitzer pressed Rep. Paul on who should pay for the care of a healthy person who gets in a freak accident, Tea Baggers in the audience hooted and hollered when Blitzer suggested “surely you wouldn’t let the man die?” Yikes. The Tea Party is like a meaner, slightly gayer version of Lord of the Flies

-Sen. Santorum, discussing immigration, said “we’re a melting pot, not a salad bowl” and that immigrants must be required to learn english. Yeah! Salad is gay!

I can’t wait to see you guys September 22nd at the Google/Fox News Republican Debate.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 13, 2011 at 9:03 am

One Response

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  1. […] So we told you all about how Michele Bachmann is very concerned with the fact that Rick Perry seems to be attacking all […]


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