E PLURIBUS MORON

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He’s Beck bitchezzz

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Our long national nightmare is over: Glenn Beck has returned to broadcast! Sort of!

Beck, who left Fox News this summer after his paranoid delusions deviated from the channels other sanctioned paranoid delusions, is returning to broadcast today with GBTV, a subscription Internet TV Show. So yeah, Glenn Beck is about to end his career I’m afraid.

The problem here is that Glenn Beck doesn’t have a fan base who would enjoy subscription based Web programming. The only industry that has worked out for is porn, really. I mean Beck’s audience is mostly made up of people like your crazy Great Aunt Gladys, and Lord knows she can’t use the internet with her cataracts.

And for those who do know how to use the internet and might agree with Beck, why would they pay to learn about the Socialist Shariapocalypse from Beck when the Web is chock full of FREE conspiracy theories? I can show you 100 websites right now that will tell you how Nixon faked the moon landing to abandon the Gold Standard or that JFK was assassinated by a race of murderous astro-squids for free.

So please do the right thing, and if you can you should tune in to Beck’s show today (it’s 9/12 so he should have some grand stuff to say). Do it to support this blog, for without Beck, what would we right about?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 12, 2011 at 9:35 am

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